Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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