lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
