And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
