He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
