Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
