There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
