I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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