She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
