i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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