I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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