just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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