Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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