the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
