I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
