I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
