That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
