You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
