Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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