I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
