So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Ladies don't puke and tell
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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