She said her name was "party"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
