I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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