After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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