dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
