Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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