Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
