I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
