it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
