how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
