she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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