After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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