let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
