It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
