Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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