i was rollin on her like bob the builder
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
