At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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