My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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