duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
