Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
