the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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