remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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