Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dignity is for republicans.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
