a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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