if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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