Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
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He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
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Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Randomize