I showed him my bush... on skype.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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