I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
