Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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