Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
