you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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