Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
