Someone shit on the floor
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
soo... how was my night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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