We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
