I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
