is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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