i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
