He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
