dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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