if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
